>found by rowanheart24, SB<

60° F: Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.

50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.

40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.

20° F: ( Read more... )

(email forward)

A thief in Paris  stole a number of paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he circumvented security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

Yet he was captured 2 blocks away after his van ran out of fuel.

When asked how he could mastermind such a  crime and then make such an elementary error, he replied,

( Read more... )

First day with the new butt? - VC

I’m not going to tell you how to drive. Well, yes I am. - VC

It started as a laugh, but it encountered liquid. - MJ

I put the smart in smart ass. - VC

I’m not a slacker. I’m motivationally challenged. - LT

…so, was David from Bethlehem? - VC
Yes, that was why Mary and Joseph went there for the census. They were of ( Read more... )

When not to abbreviate a task:
Would you like me to take meds today?

Gleaned from the Internet: Quote

As you know, every diplomatic action requires an envoy. Even a simple declaration of war, which requires no diplomatic skill whatsoever. After all, it's not like a declaration of war can fail. It's just a formality, really. You show up, you say, ' ( Read more... )

My husband and I are (hopefully!) purchasing a condo soon. Our previous biggest ever purchase was our 2005 car last year.

This morning:

I kept having nightmares last night. - RN
About the condo? - VC
Yeah. One was that the window treatments were this ugly bright yellow and the walls were this hideous teal-y blue that totally clashed with the yellow ( Read more... )

Great minds think alike, but insanity speaks all languages.

Even my therapist says it's all your f #?*&% fault.

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists. -attributed to Stephen Fry

I think animal testing is cruel. They get nervous and get all the answers wrong. -attributed to Stephen Fry

A jumper cable ( Read more... )

Cleaning out the blog entry in process file:

Random Quotes:

Is there strangling in heaven? - SB

NEAR death is funny. -VC

Was this before or after the orgy? - overheard at Game Night

Don’t argue with the man in the tiara. - VC

Who’s violent? I’ve got a tiara on. - MJ

Would you like to wear the tiara? - MJ
No, thanks. I prefer to be violent. - JH

( Read more... )

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

And God said, "Let there be atheists. That ought to shake things up." - Genesis 3.141592654

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then realize you hadn’t fallen asleep.

I am currently out of my mind, but please leave a message.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I'm afraid ( Read more... )

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

And God said, "Let there be atheists. That ought to shake things up." - Genesis 3.141592654

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then realize you hadn’t fallen asleep.

I am currently out of my mind, but please leave a message.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I'm afraid ( Read more... )

"Sit and Spin!!! Sit and Spin!!! Sit and Spin!!!"
-Fritz, talking about the differences between recursion and iteration.

(Left on the blackboard by students in a Real-Time Systems course at CMU)
How to program in "C" ---------------------

1] Use lots of global variables.
2] Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace.
3] Put everything in ( Read more... )